:Warning:!!! Potential snoozer!!! This is more of a free flow rambling of thoughts from my head. Personal revelations that may not be relevant to others.
What a great time and place. As my schedule has been lax , it's been an incredible time of introspection plus devouring Gods word through the medium of scripture and sermons. I have been contemplating my journey here and the events that led up to this : the planning , preparation + saving of money in the last year. I don't want this to sound like a broken record , but this should not be missed- the faith fullness of Godly mentors in my life over time in various arenas. I don't have the time to unpack all of that but observing the road here has made me look at my recent history. It started with my dear friend Judah on a rooftop while we where framing a house to tell me about a woman that needed teachers in China. China led to Australia and Australia opened southern Asia to me. Shortly after returning to the states I ended up living in Guatemala where God gripped my heart tighter than I had ever known and that experience left me wanting more. I came back and God led me to work with Junior High students, which is possibly better than any travel experience or adventure. Relishing the culmination of all of these joint experiences it's dawned on me more clearly than ever that my life is not my own. It never has been. To think about the road leading here in just the 4 previous years is to rob God of His full and deserved glory. Psalm 139 v 13 states that He knew me and knit me in my mothers womb, my story leading here isn't just a movement in recent history but a plan that was in place for this time and place well before my parents where even alive. My whole life, everything. Ahhh! Bask in the beauty of how small we (I) are , how freeing that is to come to that realization! I was created. Amen.
I'm doing what I was born to do , and there is such abundant life in that. Chasing happiness robs us of our JOY and purpose but thankfully I have a Heavenly Father (Hebrews 12) that was never ever , not even once interested in my happiness in light of His plan. I'm in New Zealand , right where I should be.
This last week I was approached by Willem a Baptist Minister here about working with the youth at their church. They have been praying for someone for some time and I just so happened to move across the street after "randomly" meeting Kiwis in Fiji. I have learned in my nearly 24 years that things like this should not be taken lightly but prayerfully considered. If God wants me there thats where I will be. If not it was great to spend time with a very neat family(s) of this local church and I'm being prepared for something else. Something stirred in my heart this week after listening to a MaCarthur sermon from 1986 about pastoral care, based out of the book of Timothy. I believe God is leading me to this , when and where I don't know but I need to be prepared. One of the things I lack (many other life things but just qualifications stated to Timothy) is discipline. I had to schedule my day out because not much is going on right now in means of structure. Gosh I need structure. Prayer would be appreciated in this area , especially as school starts next month and the load should be fairly tedious- then the prayer would be for time management, but right now please pray for discipline.
God is outside of time and my plans are not His. His are far better. Its been more freeing than ever to come face to face with the fact that Im not in control of anything and need to trust Him completely with everything. We don't wake up in the morning and tell our hearts to keep beating so why then do we lack so much faith in almost every area of our life by making plans to arrive safely and neatly to our inevitable death? Our lives are GODS. Sometimes in the course of our life we manage to give God a few minutes of our time like He should be blessed because we thought about Him- when He is the creator of the heaven and earth, it baffles me as to why I don't trust/seek Him more. Our lives are not our own. I want more of God, I need more of God... all the time and this realization has never been stronger. Another thing that has penetrated my heart is the need to spend much more time praying for others. If my life has not been an accident or a mistake that means I have met certain people for a reason and I must intercede for them (theology might be shaky in this section- but hey im going to Bible College next month ,no worries). I started praying for people ranging from the baby girl I helped in feed in Guatemala to Judah a spiritual leader of mine with much much more urgency. Life is so good . What more can I say? Gods story continues.